It's a Long Long Journey
by ahbahh
Summary: HPGW Set in Harry's 7th yr on the day he decided to battle Voldy. Ginny would came in later chapters, gonna be rated R for some passion later. Sad and beautiful story! Pls try me!
1. Last Day In School

This story is of no relevance to the rest of my fic as they are from the others. I'm just trying to test my writing skills in writing a sad story. When I say sad I mean extremely sad and make you cant sleep for many nights and also make you have that kinda heart wretch. The only story that makes me feel that way is The Breeze's Ginny Potter and the Socerer's Stone. Take a look at that fic for I always feel that it's a great pity not much attantion was given to it. My story doesn't have a lot of chapters, less than 10 or around that.  
  
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Background: It's Harry's 7th year in Hogwarts. Lord Voldermort is still around causing mayhem in both the wizarding world and the muggles' world. Harry have to fulfil the prophecy, he decided that it's now or never. He is prepared to perish with Voldermort but he's going to make sure Voldermort is not going to live through the duel. The story starts on the day Harry decided it to be his last day on earth.  
  
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Harry attended all his lessons today, if he does not want Ron or Hermione to suspect anything, he would have to act like normal and everything. Harry attended Potions with grace, he even smiled when Snape deducted 10 points from Gryffindor when he produced the correct Blood Replenishing Potion.  
  
'Let him have the pleasure of bullying and humiliating me one the last time', Harry thought. This is the last time Snape's face is going to appear in front of him, Harry would not see any of Snape after this day although he wouldn't mind to see more of him, but he highly doubt so, the chances are so slim that Harry can't see it.  
  
During lunch, he behaved like usual, laughing at Ron and Hermione chasing each other around the hall and calling each other nasty names. He ate more than usual that day, for he was sure he is going to miss food like Headless Nick, Harry wondered if he would have the courage to disappear totally from the surface of the planet, or would he be returning as a palely white form. If he was given a choice to hunt a location, he was very sure he would be hunting the Quidditch field, after all that was the only pleasure he had alive and he wanted to enjoy the game even when he was dead, maybe he could organise a ghost Quidditch Tournament or what, and the prospect is promising.  
  
Harry decided to stuff himself silly that day and by the time he went to the History of Magic lesson after lunch, his stomach almost burst on him. Massaging his stomach like a pregnant lady, Harry was paying attention to Professor Binns explaining why was muggles called muggles, throughout the whole lesson. Professor Binns's lesson isn't that boring after all, it depended on the listeners' attitude and Harry was ashamed that he had lack that correct attitude.  
  
After Professor Binns's lesson was Divination, Professor Trelawny, that overgrown dragonfly greeted the class with her mysterious voice as usual and proceeded to teach them a new lesson, Fortune Telling.  
  
Harry and Ron partnered each other and tried interpreting each other's fortune by analysing each other's face. It was Harry's turn to interpret Ron's fortune first, he was staring at Ron's freckled face trying to read signs of his fortune but all he could concentrate on was his look, the face that he had regarded as a brother and confidant for the past 7 years. The face that gave him comfort and made his life whole, and was going to be out of his life after today and Harry knew very well that the face that was smiling at him from his opposite would be cursing and hating him after today forever. But Harry didn't mind, he rather Ron hate him than Ron dying because of him, he couldn't let Ron know his plan to confront Voldemort alone for he was sure that the stubborn git would follow him no matter what.  
  
Harry was in his own thoughts and completely oblivious to Ron, who was giving him a funny look. Ron snapped his long thin fingers in front of Harry and his mind came back to reality.  
  
"Hey, mate, what happened to you? You have been staring at me for the past 5 minutes, if I hadn't know better, I would have thought that you have a thing for me." Ron joked. Harry snorted and rolled his eyes,  
  
"Yes, Ron sweetie. I've been having feeling for you ever since year1, but too bad you fancies Hermione, I don't stand a chance now. But at least allow me to fantasize you." At this, Ron made loud hushing noises to drown out Harry's words,  
  
"You can fantasize for all you what, just shut up about Hermione". Harry finally couldn't hold his laughter and gave a lot snort which, unfortunately attracted Trelawny's attention to them.  
  
She walked towards them without making any noise and gave a loud dry cough, which made Harry almost jump out of his skin. She settled herself at the empty seat beside Ron and proceeded to study Harry's face like reading a fairly interesting book. Harry noticed that the longer she looked at him, the bigger and rounder her magnified eyes became, until its was so big that Harry suspected that they might pop out of her eye sockets like Moody's magical eye did and suddenly, she gave a loud shriek that attracted the whole class over to see what had happened.  
  
Harry suddenly became very conscious of the many pairs of curious eyes looking at him and kept his eye level on the ground, Professor Trelawny paled and suddenly dropped both her hands on the table with a loud thud, it did not help to the fact that everyone was muttering and whispering to each other.  
  
"Oh boy, God bless your young soul. Your life line was reaching its end, and you would not last till tomorrow morning", she whispered in a barely audible voice. At this, there were a sudden outburst of 'oh's and 'ah's but Harry's reaction was unexpected, his face turned from red to purple to blue like traffic light and sudden he was rolling on the marble floor laughing hysterically. Ron was palely white in the face, his brown freckles stood out vividly as he looked helplessly at his bluely out of breathe best friend rolling on the floor clenching his stomach.  
  
It was too much for Harry, to think that the miserable old bat was finally right for once after countless attempt to predict his death, it was black humour. No doubt she would gain herself more respect when the news of Harry's death leaked out the next day, 'See I told you he's not going to get through the next day', 'I always knew he would come to a terrible end', but perhaps, perhaps he would come back, like he always did, worm out of death like a cunning cat, but isn't it far too many times a cat escaped death? If he was a cat with nine lives, he was sure he had used up all the other eight lives and he was on his last.  
  
The grim thought made Harry's laughing fit subside a bit but he was still gasping for breath. He was so tired and breathless that he could not stand up without support and he simply grab anything nearest him, which was Ron's robe, and yanked himself off the cold hard marble floor pulling Ron into a half bow in the process.  
  
When Harry was on his feet, he brushed the invisible dust off his robes coolly and sat back onto the armchair he left a moment ago as if nothing had happened. Professor Trelawny came out of her bewilderment and force the rest of the class back to their seats with a flipping hand motion that give the impression of Mrs Weasley chasing Fred and George out of her kitchen when they were trying to nick her freshly baked cookies.  
  
Everyone had settled down and the still pale-looking Ron settled himself back to his seat and eyed Harry suspiciously was if still doubting his sanity.  
  
"Oh shit, look what you have done Harry James Potter!! He was suspicious, all thanks to the little show you had done", Harry kicked himself mentally while trying his best not to catch Ron's bewildered eye. Harry took a deep breath and turned to Ron giving him a big grin, which earned an eyebrow from him.  
  
"Hey, don't you think it's very hilarious. She had been predicting my death for the past few years and not a scratch had happened to me but she simply wouldn't give up. Did you noticed her face just now, the way her face paled and that shriek, if I hadn't known better I would believe that I'm meeting my end", Harry gave a hearty laugh hoping that it was convincing enough for Ron. Ron being thick as he always was, accepted the theory very well and he even joined Harry in laughing, enjoying the joke.  
  
"Hey mate, you did give me a shock of my life just now, I thought you had been scared out of your senses. Please kindly inform beforehand the next time you were thinking of performing such entertainment, it was highly entertaining no doubt but I really thought you were losing it", Ron chided Harry lightly still clenching his heart.  
  
"I would Ron, if only I am given the chance to scare you again. And Harry James Potter, you can consider being an actor if you survive the combat. You had your best friend fooled like an idiot and you didn't show a hint of remorse, just pray that he would not find out the truth" Harry talked to himself mentally.  
  
"You are losing it like Ron said, talking to yourself. Get a grip!"  
  
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So how was it? Sad enough? Tell me, tell me pls!! Was it sad enough or was it simply rubbish? I had the whole idea of this fic in my mind, all I need now is reviews!! If the respond is good I'll be updating regularly!! 


	2. A Walk In The Night

Thanks reviewers but the response of the story is not really good. Is it because of the story or is it because ppl dun like sad stories?  
  
Some of you reflected that my grammar is horrid, and I admit to that. Pls kindly excuse my grammar and concentrate on my storyline instead. As long as you know what I'm talking about it okay.  
  
Could you kindly recommend my story to ur friends? I need some support. By the way I have another HP/GW fic called "Friendship Over The Summer". I'm updating it quite regularly, if u like my writing style, then try that fic. I swear it's better than this cos I got a beta reader for that and the response is kinda good.  
  
And before you started reading, try to read and imagine yourself being Harry. Picture the scene in ur mind then you'll get to feel Harry's pain, Ginny's never-dying love for Harry.  
  
Okay enough of nonsense, there's the story of the day!!  
  
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The class was making a lot of noise as they were transfiguring a white silky rabbit into a tall hat during Transfiguration lesson. Ron was chasing his rabbit, which was happily hopping, around the whole classroom, Hermione was shaking her head at Ron while adding big red ribbons and patterns onto the tall black hat she had transfigured.  
  
The whole class were busy trying to transfigure their rabbits but Harry was just sitting in a corner watching his excited classmates. He was absent- mindedly stroking the cute little rabbit he was supposed to transfigure, which was rolling his wand with its paws. He did nothing to change the outlook of the rabbit but only added a big bow to its neck.  
  
Ron was too busy trying to prevent his rabbit from escaping to notice Harry's weird behaviour and Hermione was too pleased with herself to care about anything else. Too soon, the bell rang indicating the end of the lesson. Harry got himself a whole load of homework and a weeks' detention to go with it for not being able to transfigure his rabbit, but Harry wouldn't care less, he was smiling good-naturedly as he walked out of the class.  
  
After they got a good distance away from the classroom, Ron started calling McGonagall all sorts of nasty names with Hermione's disapproval but Harry didn't seemed to mind a bit. After all, it's McGonagall who said that he would be excused of homework if he died in his third year, and he thought she would excuse him of detention too. She wouldn't insist of putting a corpse into detention, he's sure of that but if she's so insane to do so, Harry wouldn't mind a bit, he wouldn't get to witness it anyway. But if he was given the choice, he rather face McGonagall for a year of detention and endless homework.  
  
Harry began to have second thoughts, must he be the one to defeat Voldemort? Maybe he should let someone else do it, Dumbledore have the power, why couldn't he be the one?  
  
"....neither can live .....while the other survives.....", he was the only one who could rid the world of all evil, it's stated in the stars. He was not born to love and enjoy the goodness of the world, he had got a mission, that was to rid Voldemort, that's what he was alive for, to fight evil for the world.  
  
"If you can't do it, nobody could....... To succeed is to be alone..... If you fail, there'll be no peace...... If you can't do it, nobody could....... To succeed is to be alone...... If you fail, there'll be no peace......"  
  
"Why is it me????????????????? Why is it me??????????????????????????"  
  
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Transfiguration was the last lesson of the day, Harry, Ron and Hermione dropped their heavy loaded bag back in their dormitories and went to the Great Hall for Dinner. By the time they got there, most of the places were taken but Ginny had choked them seats. They settled down beside and opposite her and started eating.  
  
Harry gorged himself silly with all the food he could lay hands on as usual and sitting opposite him was Ginny. He was so busy chewing and swallowing that he didn't notice that Ginny was looking at him with eyes that seemed to want to pop out of its socket. After his fifth helping of the strawberry pudding, Harry finally straightened up, patted his stomach and gave a rich burp. He lay back on the chair so that there was more space for his bulging stomach and was suddenly aware of the great brown eyes staring at him. Harry looked up and caught her eyes, he turned scarlet and suddenly was very conscious of how he looked at the moment. His hands automatically come up to his face to wipe away any food particles that may be stuck there and looked up at her again. Ginny's face showed amusement and astonishment, she gave a gulp and spoke,  
  
"Er.. Harry... Are you sick or what? Do you need to go to the hospital wing? Did you realised that you have eaten more shares than Ron would have when he was starving? Where do you feel uncomfortable? Is it a headache, or is it a fever?" She rattered on in a single breath and when she finally finished what she had to say, she giggled most prettily and reached over to wipe away a crump on Harry's cheek that he hadn't managed to reach just now.  
  
Harry blushed most terribly and Ginny only managed to turn just a bit pinker than her usual colour, she hadn't been shy around Harry for ages.  
  
"I.. I'm fine. Just... just have a good appetite. Food... food taste especially good today." Harry stuttered thickly.  
  
"Brainless git, why the hell are you blushing? Don't give her the impression that you have a thing for her. Don't give her hopes, you know very well that she would be devastated when you don't return." Harry chided himself and his heart drop to his stomach at the thought of a devastated Ginny when she learnt that he had died.  
  
"You promised not to let her have any hopes so that it's easier for her to carry on. I know you love her like crazy but you simply have to swallow all your feelings and bring it with you to your grave, Harry. You can't let her suffer the pain of losing you; you have to give her up to someone who could give her happiness. You are not the one to give her that, you gave up the right on the day you chose to do it. You simply have to give up, she cant be yours....", the more Harry thought the more heart broken he was, he could feel the pain like a knife slashing his heart. He could picture Ginny in the arms of a faceless man laughing merrily, maybe its all for the best. As long as Ginny is happy, Harry is okay with the fact that he's not the lucky man, no matter how unwilling was he, he have to accept the fact.  
  
Harry's facial expression changed from embarrassment to anger, and from anger, it slowly contoured to a painful expression, the pain that words could not express. Ginny looked at Harry, she could feel the bitterness in him. The sorrow, the pain and sadness, he was so delicate, like a rose in winter freezing, the autumn leaves yellowing and all signs of life taken away as it slowly falls off and join its dried up mate on the ground.  
  
Ginny could sense something very wrong with Harry, something not very right but she just can't place what was wrong. She could only feel herself withering together with Harry, just as long as her heart could be with him, she don't mind if he doesn't acknowledge her, its all out of her own accord.  
  
"Oh no, she could tell something's wrong. I could tell from her painful expression, she's mourning with me. I've got to distract her before she senses something, I've got to do something quick", Harry panicked not knowing what to do and in the frantic, he asked her to go for a walk with him which she agreed readily.  
  
Hermione and Ron were eyeing the two oblivious people all the while, when they both left the table together, Hermione and Ron smiled. They had no plans to follow Harry, they knew in their heart Ginny would take good care of him and they were glad for it, he'll be all right as long as Ginny's around.  
  
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When the two people who loved each other like crazy reached the gate, the cold night breeze blew in their face. They walked and walked without uttering a word, both quietly enjoying each other's presence. The thought of the very person who was always on their mind just next to them was exhilarating, their hearts were beating uncontrollable fast, blood pounding in their ears and their face blooded with excitement. It was supposed to be a romantic and blissful night but the wind was not thinking likewise, it was singing songs of grief, hopeless and sadness in their ears.  
  
"Phew..... It's a long long journey....... Phew....... Till I can ever can forget you..... It's a long long journey..... Heaven knows if we are destined to be..... Phew...... Sometimes I hope that you understands..... What we are supposed to do..... For it's a long long journey....... My heart will be with you till end.... Phew........"  
  
They walked along the bank of the lake and marvelled at the peaceful sight of it, the dark waters sparkling as it caught the reflection the lights from the castle. Both Harry and Ginny looked at their reflection on the still water, the picture was just so perfect, Harry all tall and sturdy wanting very badly to protect Ginny, gentle and lovely, who wanted to be in his arm till the end of time.  
  
At this time, an owl hooted from the Forbidden Forest breaking their trance and Ginny sneezed. Harry quickly take off his robes and hang them on Ginny's small shoulders, Ginny looked up into Harry's eyes and he could see love in them, it was wrong, so very wrong, she was not supposed to feel love.  
  
"Harry Potter, you've made a grave mistake. You shouldn't invite her to share the romantic night with you, you shouldn't listen to your heart and gave her your robes. Now she had fallen for you all over again, can't you not be the dashing knight in shinning armour for once. It's a grave mistake that should not be done", Harry wanted very badly to hurt himself badly for giving high hopes to Ginny, the higher the hope the greater the hurt.  
  
"It's getting late, let's go back before Ron runs to McGonagall claiming that the Slytherins had kidnapped us", Harry broke the silence of the night. Ginny nodded her head in disappointment and followed Harry into the castle.  
  
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So how was it? Sad? Touching? I was in tears when I wrote it how abt you? Should I continue with it? Im kinda wondering cos the response is not too good. I find that sad story's response is always not good. I've read a lot of GREAT sad stories and all of them dun have great response. I myself am writing a happy story and funny though the response is great. Is it that ppl like happy story than sad ones? I do admit I like happily ever after stories more, but sad stories usual captures my heart and leaves more impression. What do you think? 


	3. Pillow Fight

Hello ppl, I'm back again.  
  
I need some vote, as you can see I'm planning some romance, but I cant decide whether to add in that much details or not. So I let you decide.  
  
Do you want those hot and passion detailed scene (R-rated)?  
  
OR Do you want to skip that part with "They had a night of hot passion" only (PG-13)?  
  
Give me ur vote fast, I'm trying to read other ppl's R rated fic so that I can pick up something from them. I'm not expertised in that sort of thing, so I have to copy from here and there.  
  
Anyone who is good in writing bed scenes, pls contact me. I need ur help.  
  
Anyway, here is the story of the day!!  
  
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Back at the Gryffindor common room, Hermione was trying to read a book upside down and Ron was trying to play chess with himself, earning weird looks from the chess pieces. Worries spelled across their faces, they can't help but worry that something might have happened to them though it was quite impossible, Voldemort was in power now nowhere whether muggle or magical was safe however Hogwarts was the safest place that ever exist.  
  
Finally, it was Ron who first expressed his worry, he gave a roar of frustration and stood up from his chair abruptly, knocking it down and stormed towards the direction mumbling to himself,  
  
"Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley. What had you two landed yourself in, might been ambushed by the Slytherins for all I know. I'm going to McGonagall's and file a missing report". Upon seeing Ron storming away, Hermione threw aside the book she was holding and stood up from the armchair, but before she could move towards Ron, the entrance to the Common room opened and showed the two person she and Ron were worrying about.  
  
"Merlin, where did you two go? I'm thinking of going to McGonagall's to file a missing report, Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley missing, most probably kidnapped by the Slytherins or even worse, the deatheaters", Ron scolded them, his hands at his sides resembling a over-protective mother hen.  
  
"Calm down Ronnikins, we just went for a walk and now we are back in one piece. We met no Slytherins on the way, and most certainly no deatheaters. Ginny is fine, and if you aren't convinced, you can check her, if there is any scratches on her, I, Harry James Potter would account for it", Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance.  
  
Ron was slightly calmed at Harry's words and was teased terribly by Hermione, Ginny and Harry. He reddened to a shade almost identical to the scarlet colour of the Gryffindor scarf he's wearing and punched Harry playfully at his stomach. Harry picked up the book Hermione abandon a minute ago and flung it at Ron, catching him at his chest, and ran away. Ron, not wanting to let him escape with throwing a book at him, began picking up random stuff from the common room and chucking them at Harry.  
  
The two immature boys chased each other childishly around the common room earning looks of disbelieve from the people in the common room, the famous The-Boy-Who-Lived and the cool Weasley redhead behaving like three-year-old kids. Ginny and Hermione's face were red with embarrassment, the two closest people to them behaving like complete morons in front of the whole Gryffindor.  
  
Hermione being the most sensible, or rather insensible person around, walked in between the two chuckling teenager hoping to stop them in their activities, but they took no noticed of her and continued chucking pillows at each other. Unfortunately, Ron missed his target and instead of hitting Harry, it hit Hermione squarely at her head.  
  
It was a grave mistake to make for the action drove Hermione nuts, she conjured lots of fluffy pillows and sent them chasing after Ron and Harry hitting them behind their head.  
  
Yelps could be heard throughout the common room as Ron and Harry were hit repeatedly and they ran like manic screaming at the top of their lungs. The commotion attracted a lot of people's attention as in no time; there were a crowd of people watching them. Ginny was on the balls of her feet watching the pillow fight in excitement, Hermione smirked at the two screaming boys who were begging her to stop. She caught sight of Ginny jumping up and down watching Ron and Harry duck the flying pillows, and sent a pillow flying at her.  
  
The pillow caught Ginny fully in the face, and it's a very bad move. Weasley woman wasn't a good target to be trifled with especially Ginny Weasley who had the worst temper imaginable. She took hold of the pillow that had hit her earlier, sent it flying at Hermione and got her off her feet, wiping the smirk off her face.  
  
In no time, they were having a fierce pillow war, Ron and Hermione was cheered on by all their fellow 7th year Gryffindors, Ginny, by her fellow 6th year mates and Harry, who had the most supporters, was cheered on by almost all the Gryffindor girls, all no doubt his admirers, but no one dared to be in any vicinity near them. Ron was the first to collapse with exertion, follow by Harry, Hermione then Ginny. They were wet with perspiration, panting for breath; they looked at each other's amusing look and laughed themselves silly.  
  
The grandfather clock, which stood beside the fireplace, stuck ten and as if reminding Harry that time was running out. He looked sadly at the clock face,  
  
"Why does time fly then one least want it to?" Not wanting to be reminded of that fact repeatedly, Harry turned his attention to his three giggly friends. Ron's face was so red that it reminds Harry of a tomato, Hermione was smiling from ear to ear which was very unusual of her, being a Head Girl; she was always pulling a long face in front of people to show her authority. Although a Head Boy himself, Harry wasn't that really strict, in fact he was the coolest Head Boy Hogwarts ever had, other than his father. He almost never give out punishments, the Slytherins were exception, and was kind and friendly to all the students.  
  
Laughing silently at Hermione, Harry turned his attention to the most gorgeous girl he ever met. Ginny was giggling like a ten-year-old girl, her face pink at her cheeks, the little dimples that Harry loved, very visible at the side of her little lips. Harry couldn't help but stare at her, the unusual aura around her, her beauty and it all captured Harry's heart. That special place in his heart was given to her, not that she was aware of it.  
  
How Harry wished that time would stop at that moment, with his best friends and girl he loved so much that he could die for them unconditionally. Harry wanted to capture this moment, him with his love beside him and his best friends beside him.  
  
Harry's eye caught the sight of Colin's camera hanging on his neck and rushed over to him. He borrowed the camera and took a picture of Ron and Hermione, they was shocked at the flash and turned their head to see that it's only Harry. Harry pulled over Lavanya Brown, Lavender's sister and asked her to help them take a picture. Harry took a group photo with the whole 7th year Gryffindor, one with Ron, Hermione and Ginny, one with Ron, one with Hermione and one with Ginny. He wanted to preserve memories with pictures, this is the only thing Harry could do.  
  
His parents too preserved their memories in photographs, and it was greatly useful in providing comfort to people who loved them, including Harry. Seeing them in pictures make the pain of the loss less painful, it's still painful no matter how long it had been, Harry simply hoped that it'll be not that painful for Ron, for Hermione, for Ginny and everybody who loved him. Remembering he had to have a picture of him alone for use for his funeral, Harry requested Lavanya to help him take a full body picture.  
  
Harry adjusted his robes, tried to flatten his hair and gave a big smile, he wanted to look good and happy in the photograph. At least if his body was not whole after enduring nameless curse and spells in the combat, there is still a photo. Harry wondered what will he end up like, blown into smitters, bits and pieces taken off him with a bloody mess of flesh and blood left or maybe nothing left at all, life taken away from him forcefully and no evidence of it.  
  
The thought scares him; maybe it would not hurt at all. But maybe, there is still a chance that he may return.  
  
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Lots of grammar mistakes?? Yeah, im aware of that!! Pls skip that part and enjoy my plot instead. I cant differenciate when to put past tense, present tense and all that sort of English stuff. My mother language is not English, I dun speak English at home nor at school, except to my teachers. So, pls kindly excuse me!! Cheerio ciao!! 


	4. Letters

Hello!! After much struggle and many sleepless nights, I manage to squeeze out another chapter. It might not be up your expectations!! I wanna cry whenever I thought how disappointed you ppl might be. I'm trying my best!!  
  
For those who wonder what my mother language is, it is Mandarin. I'm a Chinese who lived in Singapore (any1 have any idea where Singapore is??) English is our national language but one can never get the hang of that language, not when there are Malays, Indians, and many other races in the country. We kinda speak this language called "Singlish" which means Singapore Style English. It consist of a mixture of English, Chinese, Malay, Indian plus many other dialects.  
  
So forgive me, if my language is hard to understand cos I dun speak prefect English like you do, though I tried very best to write in the British style.  
  
KK, enough of craps. I proudly present, the next chapter!!  
  
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Harry sat on the desk of his room writing what looked like, lots of letters. He crushed yet another piece of parchment and threw it over his shoulders, he had been writing for the past one hour but he seemed not to be able to finish the letters he intended to write.  
  
Harry kept writing and writing, parchment littered all over the floor, ink spilled over some parts of the desk, he had finished five letters and there was one more to go, but he simply couldn't find the right words to express what he wanted to say,  
  
"Come one, come on, think, think!!" Harry hit his forehead in frustration,  
  
"There is no time, come on, write, write!! I have no more time!!"  
  
Harry was so frustrated that he was almost in tears, this was the most important letter but he simply didn't know what to write. He threw his quill onto the desk so hard that it almost snapped into half and paced around the room. Harry paced so fast around the room that he was getting a bit giddy; finally he sat back onto the chair and tried to write something.  
  
Harry pulled his hair, banged his head against the desk but no words came to his head, when he was about to give up, suddenly like the water gate being opened, all ideas rushed to his brain and he began writing. Harry wrote like a man being possessed, he wrote like 2 foot of parchment until he stopped. He smiled wearily, rolled up the six parchments, tied them onto Hedwig's feet and sent her flying out into the night. He watched her soar into the sky and disappear around the corner, and flung himself onto his double bed exhausted. It took him less than a minute to fall asleep, he hadn't been sleeping properly for a few days.  
  
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Hedwig flew into the cool night; delivering the letters her master wanted her to send. She had long ago sensed that her master was planning something sinister and today he seemed more unlike his usual self. When he tied the letter onto her, there was a tinge of sadness in his eyes, all the letters seemed to be very important to him especially the last one, his eyes were most tender when he looked at it. Hedwig felt that it's her mission to ensure all the letters were delivered safely, thus she decided to deliver the last letter first since it's the nearest and the most important.  
  
Ginny was not sleeping too soundly, she was tossing and turning in her sleep, every time she tried to close her eyes, the image of Harry looking at her with sadness in his green eyes filled up her fogy brain. She tried to push the image out of her head but the more she tried, the harder it was to empty her head of all emotions, thus she decided that some cold air might do her some good.  
  
Ginny threw open the window and a gush of cold wind welcomed her, the moon was especially bright tonight and the stars were plentiful. She was admiring the night view of the school ground when her eyes caught sight of a white owl gazing across the grass,  
  
"Must be Hedwig, hunting perhaps", she thought, she was wondering which unlucky toad or rat was the owl's supper when she noticed that the animal was flying higher and higher until it was level to where she was and it flew onto her shoulders. Ginny was surprised when she saw that there was a stack of letters tied to Hedwig's feet, Hedwig pecked Ginny's fingers lightly and prodded the letter with her name written it. Ginny untied the letter bewildered, she was about to see to whom the rest of the letters was addressed to but Hedwig had taken off before she could do so, clearly the bird was under a mission and she had to deliver all the letters in the shortest time possible.  
  
Ginny could hardly wait to open the letter, she practically ran to her bed to get some light, not bothering to keep her volume down, considering that all her roommate were fast asleep. She tore open the envelope excitedly and found herself looking at Harry's loopy handwriting,  
  
"Dear Ginny", it begins,  
  
"it took me a whole half an hour to finish writing this letter. I've got lots to things to tell you, but I don't know where to begin. The first thing is that I love you, I knew very well that your heart is pinning for me but there is no way I can accept your feelings for me. You can say that I'm selfish, you can say that I'm coward but I just want to tell you that I'm sorry I can't have your love and can't give you love in return.  
  
You may be wondering why am I acting all weird, I knew that you had sense something wrong with me today, there is nothing about me that can escape your eyes. I had to control myself from blabbing everything to you when I looked into your eyes this evening, but I can't, for I knew you would want to follow me if I told you where I was going. That's why I had to keep all my love for you inside me even if it hurts like hell, until it appropriate for me to do so because I want to protect you from unnecessary pain.  
  
Please don't doubt my feelings for you, I love you so much that I can die for you and that's what I'm doing, I'm going to fight for your future, Ron's future, everyone's future even if it costs my life. Promise me Ginny that if I don't return, forget me, give your love to someone worthy. Don't grave for me, I'm not worth it. I want to lesson the pain for you so that it's easier for you to move on, there are better guys out there, forget me and carry on. Promise me!!  
  
How I wish I could live with you forever. I want to kiss you and lie down with you and wake up with you everyday of my life till I die, years and years away. But lives don't allow me to do so, and how I hate not being able to love you. I didn't know that I could ever love anything so much, Oh Ginny, I wish this night would never end. If only we could stay in each other's arm, and the world could stop turning, and everyone else could fall into a sleep. Everyone except us, and you and I could live forever and just love each other.  
  
If I went away before you did, we shall meet again in the realm of the dead. We shall continue our love there, I promise I wouldn't go away; I wait till the end of time for you. Remember, I love you so much that I could die. Forgive me!!  
  
Love you forever, Harry "  
  
Ginny was weeping silently, her little body shaking uncontrollably when she read the letter, she felt so painful that she was suffocating. Her heart was bleeding as if a razor sharp knife had ran across it, the pain was as painful as being squeezed mercilessly by a pair of invisible hand. She felt as if her heart was torn apart, Harry..., Harry.... Maybe he hadn't left yet, maybe she could still get him before he left.  
  
Ginny threw the letter onto the floor and ran out of her dormitory so fast as if her life depended on it. She kept running and running not bothering that the din she's making may wake the whole house, she kept running. She run down the stairs four steps at a time and at the last few steps to the common room, she missed a step and skidded the rest of the steps and landed painfully on her back. Ginny picked herself up from the floor carelessly and ran up the left stairs to the boys' dormitory to the top of the tower where the HeadBoy's Quarter was, praying that she'll make it in time before he left. By the time, she reached the outside of Harry's room, she was so dizzy that she almost collapsed right at the doorstep, but her will was keeping her conscious, Ginny clutched the painful stitch at her chest tightly and knocked the door hurriedly,  
  
"Please, please don't let him be gone yet. Don't let him be gone yet", she chanted desperately.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How is the chapter? Up to your expectations??  
  
Finally, I got a cliff hanger. Wow, I usually simply can't get a cliff hanger, but now, I got it.  
  
I never know that it's that difficult to write a sad romance story. The next time I wanted to write a story, I'll see to it that it's not a sad one. I kinda agree with The Backliner, I didn't seemed to be able to get the concept of a sad story right!! 


	5. In Time

There's another poor attempt of writing a sappy story!! Oh and before I forget, this chapter is a Rated one!!  
  
Ginny collapsed at the doorstep of Harry's room, crying her heart out and banging on the door,  
  
"Why didn't you wait for me? Why didn't you give me the chance to say I love you? I hate you, Harry Potter, where did you go?" Ginny cried herself hoarse and slide down onto the floor when the door unexpectedly was thrown open and a tousle haired someone stood at the doorway. Ginny looked up to see who it was and suddenly as quick as lightning, threw herself onto him hanging onto his neck for dear life.  
  
Harry was surprised to see Ginny outside his door and he was more shocked to find her crying into his chest,  
  
"She can't have known I'm going away, unless.... unless she had received the letter. She wasn't supposed to get them yet, I made sure Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Dumbledore got their letters last so that they could not stop me in time. Hedwig must have messed up the delivery order of the letters", Harry thought to himself. Ginny stopped crying, she was looking at Harry in the eye with a pained expression,  
  
"Why didn't you tell me earlier? Where are you going? Wherever you go, I'll follow. I love you, Harry", Ginny whispered into Harry's ear, making his skin crawl with every breath she exhaled into his ear.  
  
"I.....I......."  
  
"Where are you going? Tell me, I want to follow you. Are you planning to do sometime dangerous? Where exactly are you going, Harry? Ginny kept asking, pestering him for an answer but he can't tell, he had swore to himself that. Harry looked into Ginny's eyes and found that he can't control himself with that mesmerizing pair of eyes, he hugged Ginny closer to himself and buried his face into her hair, smelling her and feeling her. He had been dreaming of holding her in his arms, and at this moment, it seemed that all his dreams had come true; there it was Ginny Weasley all warm and petite in his embrace.  
  
Ginny seemed to have melted in Harry's embrace, all sense gone. All she wanted was to stay like this forever, how she wished the world could stop turning that moment and everyone could remain sleeping, everyone except them but there were more pressing matters at hand. Ginny pushed Harry away a little,  
  
"Please tell me where are you going? Please, I beg you to tell me", she pleaded, almost in tears again.  
  
"I can't Ginny, I promised I'll go alone. I can't tell you, I just can't", Harry insisted stubbornly though his heart in breaking silently to see that a tear had rolled down Ginny's cheek.  
  
"Please I beg you, Harry. Where are you going? I can't live without you, please don't go. If you insist of going, I beg you to bring me along. To death or hell, I want to follow you"; Ginny whispered in an inaudible voice, she had began crying helplessly, and it pained Harry to see that he had made her cry.  
  
In a swift motion, Harry swept Ginny into his arms and kissed her deeply. Ginny felt herself melting like ice under the hot sun, she was not capable of controlling herself anymore, she remained locked in a passionate kiss with Harry all thoughts in her head lay forgotten.  
  
Harry knew perfectly well that it was a wrong move to be kissing Ginny, but it seemed to be the right thing to do at this moment. What he could think of was to kiss away Ginny's tears, kiss away her fears and to show her his undying love; other matters could be left to be deal with later. They share their first kiss passionately until Harry break the contact, Ginny lost in his green eyes,  
  
"I'm so sorry, I'm not supposed to love you, and I'll only hurt you more. Forget the love we share Ginny, I don't deserve your love. Forget about tonight, I have to leave you Ginny, find someone who could return your love. Go back, my love, though it breaks my heart. Go back now", Harry said as he retreated back into the room. As he was about to close the door, Ginny put a hand out to stop him,  
  
"I just love you, I'll love no other than you, Harry. I'll not leave; I refuse to forget, because I love you. I rather spend only a time of my life with you than spend all my life without you. I want to love you everyday of my life till I die or when you leave me. I don't want a memory, just a memory.... A memory's a poor thing to have, I don't know if I'll ever love someone else as much as I love you, I only know I love you now, more than anything in this world....."  
  
Ginny walked into the room and closed the door behind her, facing Harry. She walked up to him and planted a chaste kiss on his lips, her eyes locked into Harry's. Ginny's hands reached out to Harry's neck and as if being commanded, Harry placed his hands behind Ginny and before they know what they are doing, they got closer to each other and the small gap between them were closed. Harry's hands roamed freely around Ginny's back and Ginny's hands found their way into Harry's hair, messing them up.  
  
Unconsciously, they were moving towards the direction of Harry's bed until suddenly Harry hit the side of the bed at his knee level, lost balance and fell backwards onto the soft bed bringing Ginny with him. They both hit the soft surface of the bed with a soft thud with Ginny on top of Harry, Harry's emerald eyes boring into Ginny's chocolate ones. Harry turned and had Ginny below him, he peeled the collar of Ginny's pyjamas to expose a bit more of her milky white neck and he lowered his head to kiss her there.  
  
The moment Harry's lips touched the sensitive skin at Ginny's neck, she felt a wave of electricity pass through her body and she gripped Harry hard at his shoulders. Both of them no longer have any idea what they were doing but continue kissing, Harry had unbuttoned the top two buttons of Ginny's pyjamas and he himself was naked at the upper half of his body. Harry explored all the areas he could possibly reach on Ginny's body with the bottom few buttons of her pyjamas still intact and when he was about to unbutton down one more button which would reveal a great deal more of Ginny, he suddenly came to his senses as if being slapped. He looked down at his beautiful lover who had beads of perspiration all over her face, her shiny wavy hair all over the pillow as Harry had ran his hands several times over them.  
  
"I'm so sorry, I did that to you. We must stop now before it's too late, please go back to your dormitory. It's wrong to do it, we are not prepared, you are not prepared, and I don't want to ruin you", Harry kissed her lightly on the lips and proceeded to help her button up her pyjamas when Ginny grabbed his hand,  
  
"No, I want you and I know you want me too. I'm yours, Harry, all yours." Harry could not find any excuse not to believe her, after all, that's what his heart had been telling him. She's his, and nobody else's. Yes, she is going to be his, Harry Potter's. As if she had heard Harry's internal voices, she let go of Harry and closed her eyes; it's too much for Harry to take, Ginny giving herself willingly to him. Completely losing his head, Harry continued what he had intended to do, occasionally whispering confessions of love into Ginny's ears.  
  
"I'm yours, Harry. Make me yours, claim me!! I'm nobody's but yours, you only!! I love you!!"  
  
Yucks, I can't believe I wrote this. Too detailed and gross to my liking!! But can't do without this chapter!! Someone save me!! I'm totally disgusted with myself, but at least it's not too detailed. Leave the rest of the hot and passion scene to your imagination.  
  
Those who read my other fic, knows that I hate kissing and yet in this story I wrote more than kissing. What's wrong with me?? *bang my head against the wall *  
  
By the way, pls review. My review for this fic is kinda pathetic; it's like only 20 ++ reviews for 4 chap. I expect more, but maybe this fic is not as good as the rest. Pls review for I have only less than 5 chap left. I promise I'll give you better fic, once this is over. I've got another idea in my head!! 


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